Ned Flanders Mania
Full name: Edward "Ned" Flanders
Age: 60
Identity: Homer's "perfect" church-loving, church-going neighbor.
Occupation: "The Leftorium" owner at Springfield Mall.
Former occupation: Pharmacist.
Salary: Once revealed that he makes $27 more a week than Homer.
Pet Peeve: Maude underlining passages in his bible instead of her own.
Parents: Beatnicks who didn't believe in exercising any form of discipline over Neddy.
Childhood: Childhood therapy taught him to supress his anger rather than deal with it.
Most shameful moment: Attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings because he once had one blackberry Schnapps and called Ann Landers an "old biddy".
Catch phrases: "Okilly-dokilly", "Hidilly-ho!", "Absatively posilutely".
The Essence of Flanders...
* Once, by mistake, Ned went to see Chris Rock which he thought meant a 'Christian Rock' concert and was shocked by the content of the performance, "I've never heard a preacher use the "MF" word so many times!"
* Encouraged his son Todd to beat Bart at miniature golf.
* He joined the "Hell's Satan's", a motorcycle gang, even though he really didn't want to. Ned was quite shocked by the early favorite name for the gang, "The Christ Punchers", and tried his best to veto the blasphemous name.
* Lost a bet with Homer and mowed his lawn in wife's best Sunday dress.
* Quit job as a pharmacist to open "The Leftorium", a store that sells items for left-handed people.
* Participated in Reverend Lovejoy's marriage workshop at Catfish Lake.
* Ned's bank machine PIN is 5316.
* Saved Homer from his burning house.
* Led the Junior Campers on a whitewater rafting trip and got them lost.
* Got pulled over and falsely arrested for DUI in front of church bus.
* Was Homer's best friend (for one episode).
* Filled in as principal at Springfield Elementary when Skinner was temporarily dismissed.
* Suspected of murder after Bart sees him digging a grave in his backyard.
* Became a zombie.
* Invited Simpsons (and everyone else) to join Flanders' family in their bomb shelter when a comet was expected to crash into town.
* Was foster parent to Simpsons kids when they were taken away because of "neglect".
* Tried to baptize Simpson kids in Springfield River.
* Had nervous breakdown after house was destroyed by hurricane.
* Committed himself to nut house
"The Adventures of Ned Flanders" was a short that appeared at the end of the episode 'The Front'. Entitled 'Love that God', it highlights the Flanders' dedication to religion and perfect family niceness, yet again.
Ned nearly scolds Rod and Todd, who are busy praying, after they refuse to get ready for church — only to be told that it is, in fact, a Saturday.
Ned laughs at his mistake with a trademark "okely-dokely-doo!"
The short featured a theme song titled 'Everyone Loves Ned Flanders.'
Chorus:
Hens Love Roosters,
Geese Love Ganders,
Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!
Homer:
Not me!
Chorus:
...everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!
And, according to commentary on '22 Short Films About Springfield', The Simpsons team wanted to do more "Adventures of Ned Flanders" shorts.
Unfortunately, time limitations have prevented them from producing more.
Sources:
simpsons-crazy
simpsonscrazy.com
wikipedia
The Daily Sonnet
Lots of Sonnets
Poker Addict
Yes, I kinda found that far-fetched too.
Flanders' true age was revealed in the episode where Homer gets upset that Flanders got a senior citizen's discount at the Kwik-E-Mart esp since Flanders is supposed to be some goody-goody ultra-honest nerd.
Flanders reluctantly admitted that he was indeed a senior citizen and showed his driver's license to prove it.
Flanders attributed his wrinkle-free, youthful appearance to his clean-living ways.